So, I want to share something that exposes my vulnerabilities, but through this experience I’ve learned a few things and feel compelled to put them into writing so that I can forever remember them, and at the same time I hope my story will help others hear their truth.
I dated a married man. Let’s just put that one out there. No, it wasn’t on purpose and therein lies the story. So I met, let’s call him George on match.com last fall. We had several fun bike rides, a rather romantic dinner, played like kids on swings at the playground and exchanged some fun banter. He even took a yoga class with me. His life story was pretty fantastical and the rest of his stories became more fantastical over time. I kept my friends abreast of the relationship and they raised their hands with questions. Now my “gut” knew the stories were truly of storybook fare, but my heart wanted to believe. Orphaned by the age of 10, his wife died in a plane crash, he owned a business that worked for the DOD, his helicopter crashed – the mere act of putting these in writing make me cringe as I wonder how I could ever have bought into his story…
As I pushed to learn more about his life, he pulled away and we hadn’t communicated in over four month – until this week, when I received a text invite up to Michigan to ride with him. When I placed a call into a friend who was a detective, I told him that I felt silly even calling as I knew the answer. Yup, his wife is alive and well and his last name, let’s just say, rhymes with schmuck. Fitting.
So, I ponder on the moral compass of a man that not only cheats on his wife, but makes up elaborate stories to hide his true identity. Had it ever crossed his mind how he would respond if he learned that someone had pulled the same rouse on either of his daughter’s? Absolutely amazing.
I left him a voice mail and ripped him a new one, though I haven’t “outed” him to his wife. Not yet. I’m going to let the universe handle that one, though I do kinda’ hope his conscious is wracked in fear knowing that I can simply go to a facebook page and leave a message for his wife.
So, what is my lesson? I knew. I knew from the very beginning that the relationship was shaky. Had I simply acknowledged that it didn’t feel good to not be communicated with on a regular basis, it would have been over rather quickly. End of story. Follow my feelings. I’ll forgive him (soon I hope) and thank him for that simple lesson.
“’Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel.” William Makepeace Thackeray
Until the next time and listening to that quiet little voice…