Mother’s Day Guilt Trip….

So yesterday I had a complete melt down with tears and an achy heart – the whole bit. I really thought I deserved a Mother’s Day celebration combined with a b-day redo as my brother passed the week of my birthday and obviously not much was celebrated that week. I discovered that nothing had been planned…

So, I wallowed in my stuff and felt as if I were raising selfish kids and was merely a cook and cleaner and driver and check writer and laundress and servant, and, and…. all without the occasional thank you. My meltdown got their attention.

Now my girls really are great kids and at the ages of 14 and 16 one should expect a bit of self centeredness, though I take it seriously that my job is to pull them out of that self centered orbit. It worked. I got their attention – at least for 24 hours.

And, I love the magic of the universe. We watched a movie together last night – a comedy that they chose called “Guilt Trip.” Barbara Streisand plays an overbearing mom and the son asks her to go with him on an 8 day driving trip across country. I won’t spoil the plot, because it is a simple, fun movie and the piece that was so karmic was too good to be true. At one point in the movie Joyce (mom) had a meltdown on her son calling him a little shit and vented her frustration for his lack of appreciation for all that she had done for him and that she couldn’t do anything to please him…. Yeh, yeh, yeh… It’s a speech that I think every mom has given at least once and almost word for word my diatribe earlier that day. The girls and I initially cringed a bit, and then laughed out loud at the lovely irony. It’s funny how little synchronicities happen all the time if we take time to notice!

Here’s Erma Bombeck’s take on motherhood:
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”

It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”

I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

Can it think?”

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

What’s it for?”

It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

You are a genius, “said the angel.

Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”
Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

So here’s to the next time and loving our moms more… well, how about just loving more…

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